A blonde, brunette and red head escaped from jail. They were being chased by the police. They were running through the streets when they saw an old barn. So they ran in and found three potato sacks. They all jumped in.

The cop walked in the barn and saw the three potato sacks.
One cop goes to the other "Kick the sacks to make sure nothing's in them"

So the cop walks up to the potato sack with the brunette and kicked it.

The brunette said "Meow Meow" and the cop thought it was a cat and walked to the next potato sack.

The cop kicked the second sack with the red head in it.
The red head said "Woof Woof" so the cop walked to the third potato sack thinking a dog was in the second one.

The cop kicked the third sack with the blonde in it.
And the blonde said "Po-tay-toes...".

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead were trying out for a new NASA experiment on sending women to different planets. First, they called the brunette in and asked her a question.

"If you could go to any planet, what planet would you want to go to and why?"

After pondering the question she answered, "I would like to go to Mars because it seems so interesting with all the recent news about possible extra terrestrial life on the planet."

They said "well okay, thank you." And told her that they would get back to her.

Next, the redhead entered the room and the NASA people asked her the same question. In reply, "I would like to go to Saturn to see all of its rings." Again, "thank you" and they would get back to her.

Finally, the blond entered the room and they asked her the same question they asked the brunette and the redhead. She thought for a while and replied, "I would like to go to the sun."

The people from NASA replied, "why, don't you know that if you went to the sun you would burn to death?"

The blond smirked and put her hands on her hips. "Are you guys dumb? I'd go at night!

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A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!" The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Shit, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"

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A young woman said to her doctor, "You have to help me, I hurt all over."

"What do you mean?" said the doctor.

The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow, that hurts." Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! That hurts, too." Then she touched her right earlobe. "Ow, even THAT hurts."

The doctor asked the woman, "Are you a natural blonde?"

"Why yes," she said.

"I thought so," said the doctor... "You have a sprained finger."

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One day this guy comes to work at a dildo shop. His boss leaves for the day and puts him in charge of the shop.

About an hour later a black haired lady comes in and asks "How much for your black dildos?"

The guy says "30 bucks"

"And how much for your white dildos?" asks the lady.

Again the man says "30 bucks for the black and 30 bucks for the white"

So she takes the black one and leaves.

A while later a brunette comes in to the store and asks "How much for your white dildos?"

The man responds "30 bucks"

She asks "And how much for your black dildos?"

"30 bucks for the white and 30 bucks for the black" replies the man.

So she takes the white one leaves.

About an hour later a blonde walks through the door and asks "How much are your dildos?"

The guys says "All our dildos are 30 bucks"

Then she looks up behind the man on a shelf and ask "How much for that plaid one?"

The man responds "Oh, that one is special. That will cost you $250"

The blonde agrees and takes it.

Later that day the boss come back and asks "So what did you sell today?"

The man says "I sold a black dildo, a white dildo , and your thermous flask for $250!"

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How do you sink a submarine full of blondes?
Knock on the door.

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Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month?
The instructions stated, "good for up to 20 pounds".

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What stops then goes then stops then goes?
A blonde at a blinking red light.

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What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A blonde parade.

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What is the blonde's highest ambition in life?
They want to be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

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What are the six worst years in a blonde's life.
Third grade.

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What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common?
You keep hearing about them, but never see any.

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How to you keep a blonde busy all day?
Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.

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What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run! She's got a hand grenade in her mouth.

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How do you keep a blonde in suspense?
I'll tell you tomorrow.

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Why can't the blonde make ice cubes?
She lost the recipe.

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How do you hit a blonde so she will never know it?
With a thought.

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Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail when she was hammering?
The noise gave her a headache.

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How does a blond know if she's on her way home or on her way to work?
She opens her lunch box to see if there is anything in it.

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What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde?
Perri-air.

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Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.

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When is it legal to shoot a blonde in the head?
When you have a tire pump to reinflate it!

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Did you here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
She missed.

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What is it called when a blonde blows in another blond's ear?
Data transfer.

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lol theres a few for today