here are some more i love that comes from the readers digest ( i love that magazine i read em mainly for the humor sections and columns )
wandering around the faigrounds, a man sees a fortune tellers tent and decides to go in for a quick laugh.the fortune teller tells him "you are the father of 2 kids" gazing into her magic crystal ball. "that's what you fucking think" says the man says scornfully. "I'm the father of three kids" laughing "THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK" SAYS THE LADY "
Indians ask there new cheif wheither it will be cold or mild that winter. since the young cheif never learned the ways of his ancestors he tells his tribe to go gather lots of firewood and goes off to call the national weather service. "will the winter be cold this year?" he asks. " looks like it" says the weather man. so the chief tells his people to go gather more firewood. a week later he calls again "are you positive it will be cold this winter" " absolutely" says the weather man." the chief tells his people to gather even more firewood. a week goes by and he calls yet again "are you sure it will be a cold winter" " I'm sure it's gonna be the coldest winter on record" "how do you know" asks the chief " because all the Indians are out gathering firewood"
my fav of all time
a priest a minister and a rabbi want to see who is best at his job so they decide to each go into the woods, find a bear and try to convert it. later that afternoon they get together . the priest begins " when i found the bear, i read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. next week will be his first Communion"
"I found the bear by the stream and preached to him god's holy word" says the minister. "he was so mesmerized that he let me Baptize him."
they both look down at the rabbi, who is laying on a gurney in a full body cast.
''looking back" he says "maybe i shouldn't have started with the Circumcision"
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